Hansa Teutonica Big Box Board Game Review - cutlassboardgame.com

Hansa Teutonica Big Box Board Game Review

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Join us as we take a look at the Euro cube pushing board game Hansa Teutonica.


  1. I actually like the look of the maps.. The actual game box, player boards are definitely ugly though. And I wish the player boards were dual layered.

  2. Good video. Ugliest, most boring looking game ever but there is something special about it, unlikely to ever leave my collection.

  3. A Salo reference, huh? I've heard it described as alternately a brilliant masterpiece or pretentious trash. I'll never know because there are images that I simply don't want stuck in my mind.

  4. "I just try on occasion to avoid looking at turd while suffering the onset of a chronic migraine." This really made me laugh. XD

  5. Yes, it's ugly. Yes, it's frustrating. Yes, it's a route builder. Yes, it may be the pettiest game every made. Yes, it's bloody brilliant.
    I'm over pretty. I want mechanically sound first and everything else second.

  6. Because of the thumbnail, I almost didn't click on it. I just assumed, at a glance, that it was one of those deluge of other board game shill vids and not one that I have an actual interest in watching.

  7. Interesting new rating enjoyment 5 Wanks in one day 😂 love it

  8. I’ll just adjust my tin helmet and flak jacket; right, I actually like the old map on parchment look, main reason I bought the game (ducks behind cover).

  9. lol rediculous review. Hansa Teutonica is an absolute masterpiece of a board game. Look, if you prefer to play essentially solitaire games, with little to no player interaction, then HT isn't for you. But if you like an actually competitive game with a slew of tough decisions to make and nail-biting tension then Hansa Teutonica is your game. Also, I don't get why people rag on its looks? It looks fine to me. I think the art style looks great for what it is. Thats like saying chess is a crap game because the artwork on it looks dated. C'mon gimme a break. But whats really important is the mechanics and game play and thats where Hansa Teutonica shines brilliantly. See, designing actual fun games is hard. Really hard! And so what a lot of today's designers do is create fluff games, that re-hash the same old mechanics but skinned with some new "art" theme. Sure it looks pretty, but after a play or two, you'll be through with it and will go on your shelf never to be played again as you look for the next latest and greatest game when all you're really looking for is a game that can actually make you feel something when you play it. Anxiety, nail-biting tension, fear of missing out, etc, etc. Thats what HT does and its great! Or you can just play some boring euro game where no one steps on each others feet, no one has to worry about what the other person is doing, and the only interaction you have is waiting for your turn to come around again. HT is NEVER, EVER leaving my collection!

  10. Look Fritz… no Hansa!
    So you are back in the cesspit of snivelling euro games and you expect sympathy because you have to stare into the sea of brown? Lord I was once pressured into playing the original version for the longest 30 hours of my life. Oddly, the clock only said two hours – bloody Einstein.
    And then they offer three shitty boards instead of one?
    I don’t think I am buying this one.

  11. Hmm when I saw the thumbnail I thought you had a co-producer!

  12. This game is the reason that I quit a particular gaming club once. I could tell that it wasn't the group for me.

  13. it looks really really nice, graphics, color scheme – awesome
    Theres bammbillion of gaypride colored gameboards, or colored in full rainbow… but some game should be different, decent, original…

  14. I think deep in their heart, everyone really loves trains and train games. It's just the for some people, that love is so intense, so passionate and even violent, that to acknowledge and embrace it would upturn their lives and disrupt the comfortable and mundane trainless existence they've settled for. So they try to repress that intense love, and this repression expresses itself as a revulsion toward train games, a sad inversion of the passion for trains which under happier circumstances they might be able to acknowledge and enjoy…

  15. "Make sure you get some B-roll of the cunt."
    "I'm sorry. What?"
    "Don't worry, I labeled it."

  16. You're really lucky that your good-looking wife is willing to spend time with such an unpleasant and downright ugly…. boardgame like Hansa Teutonica?

  17. I love to introduce people to this game because it looks and sounds boring, and people invariably love it because it is so good. You mentioned that you have to pay the tax to bump someone but the bumped person also gets another piece from the reserve (two for a disc) to put on the board with their bumped piece, which is huge. Also, don't underestimate the special actions. Grab the one(s) that let you move 3 opponent pieces and you can dislodge the a-hole that is camping out in the actions upgrade.

    Possibly the best part of this game is that there is always a way out, if you can find it. Just go do what other people aren't doing, and make their lives hugely difficult at critical moments.

    One of the best euros ever, by far; and it is some of the most game you can get for the least money right now. The board gaming world needs more games like this.

  18. Thankfully I can tolerate Ticket to Ride Europe for family game night.

  19. "This game is like Salò and SARS. Recommended." Didn't see that twist coming.

  20. This is my all time favorite game. I'm glad it got the Bollocks treatment. I was almost worried you weren't going to recommend it.

  21. Five wanks in one day… genius, mate!
    That’s like watching five of your videos in one day.

  22. A board game comedian! LOL 🤣Great review I can see what you mean about trains – luckily I like trains.

  23. Its look never amazed me, but i never thought of it as ugly.

  24. What about Railways of the World? 😁
    Great review!

  25. Holy shit! Just found your channel and I have rarely laughed like this watching a game review. Can’t believe I witnessed a Salo reference in a review for this game, but it made me laugh loud enough to scare my dog! Great stuff. This game is a perfect 10 for me but I love train games and 18XX, so not sure what that says about my tastes 😅

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